I kept thinking about what went wrong or how I could have handled it differently. I had literally been rejected out of his tent.
I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was a failure. I stumbled out of the tent, and then wandered around Dolores Park before making my way to a bar, a dingy Mexican place, where I found a little bit of consolation flirting with the cute straight bartender over margaritas. I was exposing him for the true narcissist that he was. I noticed the background image on his smartphone: a picture of an oil painting of himself! I asked him about it but it only seemed to enrage him further.
In fact, my defiance seemed to cause in him a rudeness which, even after his initial rejection, I hadn’t expected he was capable of. I tried to defend myself with generalities about how the problem with our community was that we are not nice to each other but he wasn’t listening. It wasn’t until right around the time when he abruptly told me that we weren’t a good fit and that I should leave that I realized how wrong I was about him. As he continued speaking, telling me how he didn’t like tattoos, how he never liked to hang out with his exes, and how he wanted to settle down and have kids, I nervously drank more and more rose. I am an intelligent guy but I’m not very tall, and I was circumcised at birth. He said they were, in order of importance: smart, very tall, uncut. Here’s how it went: we chatted for a while, and after going through pleasantries and discussing our backgrounds, I asked him what the most important characteristics he was looking for in a partner were. I have never been so thoroughly “love-bombed” on a first date by anyone. In the moment, I was confident that this was going to be a memorable experience but, boy, was I wrong. I was immediately taken by his romantic gestures, which, now upon reflection, seem to me a bit more manipulative than my starry-eyed self wanted to see then. He was wearing shorts and a skinny tee shirt, which seemed designed to hug his fit body in such a way to make you wonder what it would take to get it off. It looked like he had spent hours preparing.
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He had laid out a gigantic blanket, on top of which were wine glasses, a bottle of chilled Rose and a full spread of cheeses, breads, olives and nuts. My date welcomed me into a tent he had pitched right there on the grass. When I showed up at Dolores Park where we had agreed to meet, my mind flashed with images of what looked like a scene from an episode of The Bachelor. After a couple of quick exchanges, we planned a date. On his profile, he had written that he believed in monogamy and that he was looking for a long-term relationship. This match was extremely handsome, he went to an Ivy League school, and he had a job. My match had a profile with perfectly curated images in which, in one picture, he was kayaking without a shirt on, revealing carefully sculpted abs, and, in another, he was globetrotting to the furthest corners of the earth - he was, so the pictures would have you believe, simply enjoying life to the fullest. Sentenced has a rugged, masculine feel to it in some ways reminiscent of classic 1970’s films.A few months ago, I went on a Tinder date. (And if you want to see the scene she mentioned where a ranch hand, played by Kieron Ryan, gets fucked with a shovel, that one’s here.) As Chi Chi explains: Way back in Part 1, we saw Mike DeMarko and Alessandro Del Toro cruising and boozing, and fucking, in the woods. We’re on Part 7 now, which is Punished: Searched & Surrendered.
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Now we have one of his first scenes, which is part of the 12-part web series Chi Chi’s been rolling out called Sentenced and Punished. “He is this Marine, 6 foot 4, white boy, 22 years old, uncut, gurl werk.” As Chi Chi LaRue discussed in her car-ride interview with Rupaul last week, there’s a new exclusive over at Channel One Releasing named Jason Phoenix.